In spring our thoughts turn to new growth, budding and blooming. What better time to take a look at personal opportunities for rebirth and blooming? What do we want to achieve? What next step do we need to take? What could be holding us back from our “full bloom” potential?
I found a fascinating article relevant to women in bloom in the Harvard Business Review, April, 2004, entitled “Do Women Lack Ambition?” It was written by a psychiatrist, Dr. Anna Fels. Bear with me as we transition from ambition to blooming.
Dr. Fels discovered the two basic components around childhood ambition:
- mastery of a special skill and
- recognition of that skill
She defined mastery as doing, and recognition as attention from an appreciative audience. Picture a toddler taking those first tentative rolls forward on a tricycle. This is mastery. How do we react? We cheer and whistle and praise the achievement. The child, upon hearing the acclaim, expresses delight with the realized ambition! What happens next? The toddler becomes bolder and pedals even more aggressively toward a more distant goal.
When the child receives recognition, the child feels important, affirmed and enlarged. If the child pedals the tricycle and receives no appreciation or acclaim, the child feels diminished and discouraged from repeating the behavior. Receiving attention from a significant and appreciative audience (parents, boss, spouse, friends, etc.) fires our ambition. We embrace ambition because we have
- Mastered a skill and
- Been rewarded for it.
In a revealing study, two mixed gender groups were asked to evaluate the quality of selected achievements, such as articles, paintings, resumes, etc. The names attached to the items were clearly male or female. What one group believed was originated by a man, the second group believed to be originated by a woman; and vice versa. When achievements were attributed to a male, they were rated higher than when they were attributed to a female. Women, as well as men, rated men’s mastery higher and women’s mastery lower.
Dr. Fels suggests that ambition for women in our culture breaks down around two issues of recognition:
- women are expected to provide recognition for others, and
- Women are expected to relinquish recognition for themselves.
Are we recognizing mastery for our daughters? Do we praise them for being “nice, cute, kind, etc”, but ignore them when they are strong, accomplished or competitive? When we fail to recognize mastery, we fail to reinforce ambition for the future.
Dr. Fels also found an interesting major difference in self-perceptions of women and men regarding ambition and achievement:
- Women consistently underestimate their abilities, despite evidence to the contrary.
- Men consistently overrate their abilities, despite evidence to the contrary.
- These inaccurate self-ratings appear to be accurate reflections of the praise and recognition both received by men and not received by women.
may need to claim our competence, develop a new competence, demonstrate our mastery and expect, even demand, recognition. What message are we sending our daughters if we don’t? Understanding how we have been conditioned to avoid ambition may be just the Bloom Booster we need to bloom brighter and longer!