An introvert must think a thought in order to speak it.
An extrovert must speak a thought in order to think it.
Introverts gain energy from time and space alone to contemplate, reflect and formulate thoughts. Extraverts are energized by being with and talking with other people. Both I’s and E’s enjoy the company of people, but the introvert may become drained by the experience, and the extravert may be stimulated by it!
As audience members, I’s do not self-disclose easily. They tend to be quiet, reserved and polite. Their “poker” faces may conceal the depth of emotion being internalized. The speaker is dying, receiving no feedback and assuming it is negative. “This is good stuff,” the I says to him/her self, “fascinating and relevant.” Introverts typically write thoughtful evaluations for speakers.
As audience members, E’s are more expressive of agreement or approval. E’s provide so much verbal and nonverbal feedback that they act as receivers and transmitters of energy for the speaker, as compared with the I’s being receivers only.
I’s need lots of silent pauses from a speaker in order to think their thoughts. E’s need constant stimulation and action from a speaker in order to hold their attention. During pauses E’s will literally “buzz” with their neighbors about what they’re hearing in order to think. (See above statement about thinking versus speaking).
I’s are polite listeners and resent interruptions. E’s interrupt others regularly, assuming it doesn’t matter because no one’s listening anyway! I’s tell me that it offends them to have to witness E’s rudely interrupt other E’s.
I’s, who speak about something only if it is important, detest redundancy. If an assertion has been made, it stands until further notice. E’s believe in the three T’s: Tell ‘em what you plan to tell ‘em; Tell ‘em; Tell ‘em what you’ve told ‘em.
Introverts resent being forced to respond before they have had sufficient time to think. They resent public speakers who select them as volunteers, who pose questions to them in front of others, and pressure them for a quick response. They further resent the nonverbal signals of the speaker that they may be dull or stupid when they don’t respond quickly.
Introverts resent a speaker invading their personal space. Consider the tendency of many extroverted speakers to jump down from the platform and be “in your face” assuming that they are being perceived as dynamic and engaging. Invariably, it seems that these E “In-Your-Facers” select a decidedly introverted audience member to inflict themselves on, much to the horror of the I.
Do not force an I into the spotlight to perform; they often prefer to observe. Remember they will be just as engaged in the activity; for them, the action is internal. Extraverts typically love to be chosen and will volunteer even before knowing what will be expecte of them. For an E, talking is like eating chocolate; it feels good.
Introverts are offended to be asked personal questions. What an E regards as public an I may regard as private. Most I’s regard E’s as nosy while E’s regard themselves as friendly.
Introverts speak one at a time, with silence in between. Extraverts overlap each other until all are speaking at once.
Introverts speak in a quiet voice and contain their gestures. Extraverts speak in a louder voice and gesticulate dramatically, sending and receiving energy from each other, much like sharks in a feeding frenzy!
When E’s speak they often can’t remember what they’ve said. Unfortunately, the I’s who are listening expect them to follow through on their thoughts that are being spoken.
When E’s become loud, dramatic, and flail various body parts around, I’s generally regard this communication behavior as over dramatic and obnoxious.
Because I’s are intensely private, any information they give you is expected to be for your ears only. They consider your passing the information on to be a violation of trust.
Introverts will tell you important information once in a quiet voice. Listen carefully when they speak as they will be irritated if you ask for information they have already given.
END NOTES: Extraverts introvert and introverts extravert. There are other important attitudes and functions of psychological type that exert interaction effects with introversion and extroversion. Our challenge, as professional speakers, association executives and leaders is to find ways to respect and honor all preferences of our listeners.