All great people have glaring weaknesses.
It is, however, the great gifts that make them extraordinary.
Why Can't You Be More Like Me?
Originally published in Today's Woman
By Anne Murray
"Shape up and be like me, perfect in every way." "You are broken and must be fixed." "You are just too weird!" Sound familiar? Most of us have experienced the confusion, indignity, or pain of being regarded as different. Yet, it is our differences that define our giftedness.
My passion for personality type was born of the pain of being different. After being misunderstood by most people, I learned to hide the "Real Me" from view. It was as if I entered a secret closet where I kept the Real Me safely hidden. When we are a less frequently occurring type, we receive negative messages that who we are is not who we should be from all directions, especially from those who love us. I shall never forget my relief to discover psychological type and to learn that there were other people just like me scattered around the world. I knew then that I could release my Real Self from the confinement of the closet!
When we look at patterns of preferred behavior we see a measurable phenomenon called personality, or psychological type. While there are other instruments, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator serves as the benchmark for understanding personality. This Indicator, available in 34 languages, boasts an international association, a growing body of research and a Center for the Application of Psychological Type. Developed by a mother-daughter team, Isabel and Catherine Briggs, this instrument was designed to enhance understanding of self and others.
The Indicator measures self-reported preferences. The four dimensions of personality are (l) where we get our energy (introversion versus extraversion); (2) what we see when we look (sensing versus intuition); (3) how we make decisions (thinking values versus feeling values); and (4) how we approach life (judging versus perceiving). When the four preference letters are combined we get one of the sixteen distinct personality types. In subsequent issues we will take a look at each of these pairs with a "just for fun" self-assessment.
While we prefer one of each pair of the dimensions, obviously we use our less preferred functions also. Like a light switch, we are flipped to one side or the other of the preference pairs. We don’t just hang in the middle. The days we are most fatigued are the days we spend working in our less preferred functions. At rest, we will be in our "comfort" zone, our chosen four preferences.
Once we declare our preferences we can focus on our naturally occurring strengths and possible weaknesses, or blind spots. We are blinded by our gifts. We take for granted that what we do easily others also do easily. We are shocked to hear others regard us as gifted. We may be equally shocked to hear that others describe our greatest self-proclaimed virtues as our greatest irritants! One of the most profound insights the Indicator has given me is that rewards for strengthening gifts has far greater payoff than attempts to strengthen weaknesses. All great people have glaring weaknesses. It is, however, the great gifts that make them extraordinary. I have long since abandoned bringing my weaknesses up to below average!
Type theorists suggest that our four preferences are inborn and detectable as early as four months of age. We develop our personalities more slowly if our environment or our families do not support our being our "true type". Later, we may feel confusion about our preferences based on occupation or age. We develop our dominant function first, our auxiliary next, then our tertiary, with our inferior function last. Each of these stages is sequential and follows a general time line. Much of our "middle-aged craziness" can be understood through the filter of type development and type dynamics.
Organizations and corporations are embracing personality to address a number of workplace issues. Long used as an instrument to help people develop as leaders, executives are now embracing for themselves application of type theory utilized by those who offer executive coaching. One of the most powerful tools for teambuilding, type can explain to work group members where each is coming from, the unique language we speak, and our ideas about how to move the work group to success. I have seen psychological type, facilitated with great care and humor, produce dramatic results in work groups where conflict was a daily ordeal. Feelers will not stay in a workplace filled with conflict. Not enjoying confrontation, they will silently leave. This has real implications for employee retention, as critical, analytical thinkers (likely to be attorneys, accountants, engineers) are often unaware of the need that feelers have for harmony at work. You will not be surprised to learn that approximately 60% of women (and 40% of men) prefer feeling values to thinking values.
Other proactive uses for type in the workplace include career development, assignment of mentors, team type analysis, sales and persuasion, response to change, work styles, how we are motivated, how we want to be appreciated, giving and receiving feedback, differences in stressors and management of stress, time management, and spouse programs. Personality type is widely used for marriage counseling, family issues, outplacement services after downsizing, and helping parishioners find their spiritual gifts.
Because of the popularity of and proliferation of personality type instruments in the workplace certain ethical concerns have surfaced. Some instruments are problematic in norming, validity, and reliability. I once took one of these and felt insulted by some of the negative descriptors used to depict my "alleged" type. Some instruments are available to trainers merely for payment of royalties and minimal instruction. Education or other credentials may not be considered. The Association for Psychological Type maintains a referral network data bank of qualified trainers.
Another concern is forcing the employee to reveal the chosen personality preference in a public setting before feeling comfortable in how the information will be used. Ethically, only the employee is authorized to reveal the personality type. In some cases employees may be suspect of the motives of management in bringing in the program. In other cases, people may be skeptical or prefer to protect privacy. All of us fear being labeled or "put in a box" where we can’t escape. Isabel and Catherine Briggs addressed this issue when they explained that their work was to enlarge and expand people through self-discovery and never to denigrate, limit or negatively stereotype anyone. If issues of privacy and constructive use of type are not addressed up front, the employee should ask.
Type was not designed as a screening tool to deny certain occupations to certain types. This is an unethical use of type. Ethical use of type is to work with the employee who has been hired in order to find the best possible placement within the company for that employee to utilize giftedness.
A qualified trainer will invite participants to share their type only if they feel inclined to reveal it to their co-workers. I handle this issue by posting a large blank type table of the 16 types. Each individual who chooses to share can autograph their chosen type cell in the square during a break or at lunch. AT the end of the morning or even the first break, it is typical for us to have the type table complete. In my years of providing type training for thousands of people I have encountered only two who were not comfortable revealing their types. I like to think that they were treated no differently from those who chose to be more self-disclosing.
For further information on personality type or The Association for Psychological Type contact the author Anne Murray, qualified type trainer, at 270 / 781-3677 or email. Anne speaks on many topics around the country.